The War Inside My Head
by Sqweebs
Summary: Kyon has feelings for Haruhi, and vice-versa. All's good. But when a new member joins the team who has the same powers as Haruhi, how long will it take till he realizes his power and tries to use it to steal Haruhi? Find out in this thrilling new Fan Fic.
1. A New Brigade Member

**Ok, guys I know I'm doing Love is War right now along with A Real Life Lucky Star AND I plan another story, but this idea has been KILLING me for like 4 months and I HAD to write it! This is my first Haruhi Fan Fic and I always thought this would be a cool idea. Expect plenty of this and Love is War along with A Real Life Lucky Star. Also this is my first Fan Fic in First Person POV. For any Haruhi fans who haven't read my Lucky Start stuff, I'm new to the Haruhi Suzumiya Fan Fic writing so any advice is accepted! Hope you like the story!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya or any Haruhi Merchandise. I do however own this story, so hooray for me! **

Hey, my names Kyon, but I guess if you're reading this than you already know that. I've been a part of the S.O.S Brigade for a year now and It's been the same exact thing over and over. Haruhi giving us some whacky thing to have to do and then we go do it. Despite the fact that I could probably leave the S.O.S Brigade ANYTIME I choose, I've stayed, dealing with the drama, pain, and agony that comes along with it. It was the start of our second year and we were all doing our regular routine. Nagato was over in her corner reading her usual book from off the shelf and Mikeru was busy preparing tea. Koizumi and I were in a regular game of Chess and Haruhi was being... well, Haruhi.

"Ughhhh, I'm so BORED!" Haruhi yelled as she threw her hands behind her head. "Nobody has come to report anything unusual in AGES!"

"Well the last person who came in you scared off after yelling at Miss Asahina!" I said, remembering what had happened about a week ago.

"But I wanted two cubes of sugar not one!" Haruhi argued.

A couple of days ago, a fairly popular girl at school came in to request we find out something about her friend. Unfortunately, she came in JUST as Miss Asahina made a mistake with a cup of coffee that Haruhi ordered, and I think since then, the girl has been spreading some rumors about us.

"Maybe you shouldn't have acted out in front of someone then." I said as Haruhi stuck her tongue out and I went back to my game, looking up at Koizumi, who looked like a wreck.

Lately, some large scale Closed-Spaces started popping up but neither Koizumi nor the agency could figure out why. As I've heard, the Espers have been fighting for days trying to stop them and it was starting to show on Koizumi. Koizumi looked like a train had hit him. His eyes were baggy, his hair a mess and his clothes sloppy. Even with his usual creepy smile, he looked extremely tired from all the hard work he's been doing. All he wanted to do was relax, and little did we know Haruhi was about to put us to work... again.

"I've got it!" Haruhi yelled, surprising Mikuru and making her spill a bit of Tea she was carrying over to Kyon. "Lately it's all been the same exact thing! Why don't we all go look for new members!"

I only facepalmed at this idea. It was about the time when clubs could start recruiting the Freshmen and any new students to the school, but I really didn't think it was a good idea to try and get ANOTHER person packed into the already tight club room. I still knew for a fact that we would have to end up going through with it anyways. Little did I know what would happen all because of her idea.

Next thing I knew, Koizumi and I were headed towards the Auditorium to promote the S.O.S Brigade, while Miss Asahina and Haruhi were headed towards the hallways in their bunny outfits. Yuki went off to the library, but I don't think she'll be doing much promoting there.

In front of the Auditorium, Koizumi and I stood to try and get people to join, despite the fact that the only people that got fliers were Haruhi, Mikuru, and Yuki. So we just stood there and talked, despite the fact that Koizumi looked like he could crash any second.

"Koizumi, what's up with the Closed Spaces? You look like you're ready to crash." I asked, a bit worried. The agency has been fighting off the closed-Spaces for years but lately Haruhi has been making excessively large ones. I actually had the chance to see one of the new ones a couple of days ago when Koizumi brought me to it, and I gotta say it was larger than any of the ones I've been in before. I also don't remember the monsters that the Espers have to fight of while in the closed spaces being in such great numbers. Every hour there was at least 15 of them coming at them and they were only a 5 man squad. How they managed to survive was beyond me, but I know I sure as hell couldn't do it.

"I don't know why the closed spaces have been getting so large lately, but Mori-san gave me a theory that might explain it." He said as he sat down on a chair in the hallway.

"Well, what is it? Knowing her it's probably something whacked and crazy." I said rolling my eyes thinking back to the vacation we took on the island and the hell they put us through.

"Well, I don't know if it's the REAL problem, but she thinks it might be love-sickness." He said, surprising me. Not just 10 minutes ago Haruhi was excited and happy, could she really be feeling love-sick?

"That can't be it. I mean she's so cheery lately. Almost over-excessively cheery." I said, dismissing the thought.

"Think about it, the first sign of Love-sickness is trying to cover it up." He said as I noticed his eyes starting to droop a little.

"True," I said knowing what this is coming to "but what does Mori-san know about Love-sickness? She's a maid for crying out loud."

"She's female though." He said with an answer that practically stabbed me through the heart with how dumb he made me look just then. "You'll find that almost every girl can tell each others feeling, no matter how deep they hide them. It's as if girls have a sort of... connection. Like a mother and a son bond."

"Weird. I just hope that doesn't come back to bite me in the ass." I said as I got a text from Haruhi

'_Get back to the clubroom, Mikuru decided to bail on us. Discussing penalty. ;P' _it read, ending with the ;P face that Haruhi had at the end of her text's all the time. "Well, looks like we're going back to the clubroom a little early."

"Good." he said, starting to get up "Maybe I can get a little sleep there."

"Anyways, what do you think we should do about Haruhi's "Closed Space" problem?" I said as he started to wobble a bit.

"I think you know. Just hurry before someone else does it for you." He said before he started to go down, most likely from standing up too fast. When I caught him, he was out before he even hit my arms. Not knowing what to do, I started to drag him back to the clubroom, which was extremely difficult to do considering Koizumi felt like he had eaten bricks for breakfast. As I rounded the corner, I accidentally ran into a tall, brown haired kid holding a schedule.

"Oh, I'm sorry." he said before noticing the person I was carrying "Oh man, do you need some help?"

"Yeah, might be nice, he hasn't been sleeping well and he just fell asleep on me, I'm just taking him back to our club room." I said as he took Koizumi's legs and we started back towards the clubroom. As I looked down at Koizumi, his face seemed to have changed. He had a bit of a smirk on his face, as if he had been proven right, but I was probably just imagining it.

After about a 7 minute struggle to get the knocked out body of Koizumi up the stairs and into the club room, we were completely exhausted, and for some reason the girls STILL weren't back. The kid and I both took seats across from each other, and after a breather, started talking.

"Well that was rough. Didn't think he would be so heavy." he said as we waited for the girls.

"Yeah. Hey you new here?" I asked remembering he was carrying around a schedule.

"Oh, yeah, just moved in. Dad got transferred, couldn't stay with any of my friends." he said before I heard screaming coming from the other side of the door, instantly telling me that the girls were back.

"WE'RE BACK!" Haruhi screamed as she walked in the room tugging Mikuru along with her. Yuki came in soon afterwords. "On the way back, one of Mikuru's boob flaps drooped down, and she ran away, so we had to go catch her... OH! YOU GOT SOMEONE!"

In a sudden blur Haruhi was right in front of him, asking questions at 100 kph. "Do you have an interest in the super natural?" "Do you believe in Espers, Aliens, or Time Travelers?" blah blah blah. Finally she managed to settle down and ask some questions that wouldn't scare the poor guy.

"So then, "New Guy." she said, acting as if this guy was already going to join, which I knew, unfortunately, was true, or else Haruhi wouldn't let him leave with both of his eyes. "What's your name?"

"I'm Sunohara Kibuki, Junior here at this school, I just moved in from a school about a half an hour away, Ryoo High, you might of heard of it." he started to explain.

"So, do you have any interest in the super natural? Anything mysterious, creepy, or dangerous? Anything? Anything!" Haruhi said, going back to her original topic, and starting to jump around again.

"Uhh, well I guess I've always been interested in Aliens, and I've always thought it would be cool to time travel, so yeah." Sunohara said

"Perfect! Congratulations! You've been accepted into the one, the ONLY, The S.O.S Brigade!" Haruhi screamed without even getting his opinion. Blue line's just appeared on my face as the poor guy looked confused as HELL.

"Well, I guess it's a good thing to get started in school activities anyways." he said getting up from the chair.

"Mikuru and I are going down to the office to get some paperwork for him to sign. Kyon and Yuki, keep this guy comfy and check on Koizumi while you're at it." she said as I remembered the whole reason this guy was even HERE. Koizumi laid in a futon that Mikuru had set up on the left side of the table, he looked better since he fainted, and he was sleeping soundly, so I took Sunohara outside the clubroom to talk a bit more.

"So now you know Haruhi, our over excited leader. She can get a little TOO bouncy sometimes. The moe girl you saw was Mikuru, our maid," I said giving emphasis on Maid "and the girl in the room is Yuki, the quiet one, she mostly reads, but I suspect that she has a secret love of video games and manga. Then there's Koizumi the... odd one. Let's not go into that one. Altogether I'm really just the straight-man out of all of us."

"Well, looks like you won't be alone from now on at least." he said laughing "Oh, yeah by the way, can you tell me a bit more bout the brown haired girl...?"

"Who? Haruhi?" I said a bit taken aback by his request "Well, she's the leader of the S.O.S Brigade, she's a girl obsessed with the super-natural, the paranormal, and anything to do with Aliens, Espers, or Time Travelers. She usually takes us on odd outings to search for weird stuff, but that only comes up empty. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no reason." he said before Yuki appeared out of nowhere.

"He is awake." she said in her emotionless tone.

"Oh thanks Nagato." I said as Sunohara and I started inside the clubroom, before I could enter, Yuki grabbed my sleeve, and I stepped back out into the hallway once again. "What is it Nagato?"

"Sunohara is another human with world ending capabilities. Another human life form entrusted with the ability to have anything he wishes happen." she said shocking me with the sudden news.

"So Haruhi must have wished for him to appear or something like that right?" I said, remembering Koizumi saying about Haruhi feeling love-sick.

"Only partially, Miss Suzumiya wished for a new club mate, but not one with powers such as herself." Yuki said in her cold voice "For her to be able to wish for someone like that, she would have to know her own power. He is by chance a human with the ability to have anything he wishes granted. He only does not know it himself."

"Yuki, Kyon we're back!" Haruhi yelled coming down the hallway while dragging Miss Asahina along with her. The two of them still in their bunny girl outfits from before. "Get inside! It's time for the S.O.S Brigade to get a new member!"

**That's all for now! Thanks for reading! For any of my Lucky Star fans I hope you liked a nice switch, and for any Haruhi Fans who are new to reading my stories, I hope you liked it. Please rate and review so I can know what I could improve on. Also this took WAY longer than I thought because halfway through writing this, I got the computer taken away for a week, so I couldn't get this written. Well, that's all for now! Expect either the next Love is War or the new A Real Life Lucky Star sometime next week. Bye-nii!**


	2. Investigation!

**My THIRD! I decided to write this one next, because I was listening to some Haruhi Suzumiya music while I was writing the last one, and I just REALLY wanted to update this one, so I actually put the 2nd one on hold for a bit until I started this one. I'm that bad XD Here's the next part of The War Inside My Head! Enjoy all ye fellow Fanfictioners and Fanfictionistas!**

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><p>When I opened my eyes, I was in the clubroom, but it was different, it was larger than the school's gymnasium, and was absolutely destroyed. The table that stood in the middle of the clubroom was thrown off to the side in a heap of rubble along with the table where the tea is made. The only way I was able to recognize the clubroom was because Haruhi's desk was at the back off the room with her "Brigade Chief" pyramid on the table in front of the computer. It looked to be around sundown, and the room was illuminated in an orange glow. I looked down and saw I was on top of someone, but their entire body was completely black, almost like they were a shadow. I noticed that I was holding a cane, it was something that you would see would be made for a game like Skyrim, having Dragon-like carvings in in, and a little jewel at the tip. Even though it looked like something that would be made of plastic, it was actually pretty heavy, probably made of an easy to craft metal, or something like that. Then, not being able to control my body, the dream me brought the cane up, and brought it straight down on the silhouette man's face, with a lot of force. I brought my arm up again, and swung down with just as much force. I couldn't see the damage it was doing to the guy's head, but the blood behind him was visible, and there was a lot of it. I kept swinging the cane onto the man's head with all of the power I had, until I finally became too exhausted to bring it down again, and the silhouette man's arm twitched once, and he became still.<p>

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><p>Then I woke up with a jolt, my hands were sweaty, and my night-shirt was completely soaked.<p>

'Why the hell was I having a dream that I killed a man?' I thought to myself. I had never even gotten in a fight in my life. I wouldn't be able to even punch a man hard enough to knock a few fillings loose, let alone kill a man.

Then I noticed I had a new text on my phone, I grabbed it, flipped it up and saw this:

_Sent by: Haruhi_

_Saturday, April 13th_

_At 3:27 Am_

Good god does that woman EVER sleep?

_Kyon, meet us at our usual spot, we're having a first time paranormal search for our new member. Meet us there at 9:30 sharp, penalty for being late is buying us all Ice Cream._

_;P_

Then I look at the clock; 9:13? Crap I don't want to have to buy them stuff again! I'm broke enough already because of that woman! I ran out without even grabbing breakfast, obviously making my mom really angry, but I had no time.

When I finally got to the area we usually meet, everyone was there, and I was 5 minutes late, I sighed knowing I had to pay, but when I got there Haruhi didn't seem as angry as I had thought she would.

"There you are Kyon! Come over and join us already." Haruhi yelled waving to me.

I came over and joined the group, but we didn't leave yet, I spent another 20 texting my little sister who was using my mom's phone to complain that I didn't play with Shami-san enough, and that it should be her that goes out with Haruhi and that I should be the one left alone at home, and all that weird stuff before I finally got bored enough to speak up.

"So, what are we waiting for?" I asked Haruhi

"Who do you think?" she said starting to get pissed "Sunohara hasn't even sent me a text back."

I mentally facepalmed as I screamed in my head 'You idiot didn't you even notice that the person we came here in the first place for was missing?' Literally just as I thought that, Sunohara rounded the corner and got his punishment for being late.

"Sunohara, I don't know if you know this, but here at the SOS Brigade we have very strict time planning, and being late doesn't help." Haruhi yelled as he walked over.

"I'm sorry, I had set my alarm clock for an hour later than I had planned to wake up." he said, apologetically.

"I'm sorry, but the penalty still stands." she said before she pointed a finger at me "Kyon, you have to pay for our Ice Cream."

Wait... what the hell! Where did this come from?

"Whaddya mean? I wasn't the last one here!" I said a bit annoyed

"Sunohara is a new member, we can't put the penalty on him YET." Haruhi said really pissing me off. When the club first started out did I get a break? No! Man that girl is a pain in the ass sometimes.

After I bought everyone Ice Cream, making me even MORE broke, we finally got started. We were going to do the old "split up into groups of two and search around" thing again, but now it was even at least, so no one would end up alone and bored to death for the rest of the day.

First draw was Haruhi, of course, and she got red. Miss Asahina was next, and she got yellow, and Yuki was the next to draw getting blue. Good it means at least I don't have to hang out with Koizumi.

After everyone else had drawn, I had pulled out the last one, and it just happened to be Red, and I would be spending the rest of the day looking for absolutely nothing with Haruhi. Great...

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><p><strong>3 Hours Later<strong>

"Hurry up Kyon. I swear I saw something move in that bush" Haruhi yelled as she ran straight through a big crowd of people.

Here we are in the middle of town chasing after phantoms that don't exist whatsoever. Why Haruhi picked the most crowded part of town in the middle of the day to look for paranormal stuff is BEYOND me. The last time I had ever seen anything paranormal happen in a crowded place in the middle of the day was in the movie Ghostbusters, and that was the basement of a library AND it was a fictional movie.

"Kyon, what are you doing over there? Come help me search... ACK!" she said as I looked over to see the funniest thing I had ever seen in my life. "GET OFF ME YOU DEMON FROM HELL!" the girl screamed getting the attention of everyone around her. Haruhi had apparently gotten a squirrel very upset so now it was clinging onto her head as it attacked the girl with all it's might. "KYON COME OVER HERE AND HELP ME!"

I ran over to get the thing off of the girl, getting a few scratches while doing so. The thing held on with the strength that outmatched any body builder, but I managed to get it off without seriously harming it, or the girl it was attacking.

"You alright?" I said chuckling a bit, Haruhi just gave me a cute little pouty face.

"Yeah I guess so." she said "Wanna get something to eat? I'm starving and I didn't have any time for breakfast this morning."

'How can a woman who's up at 3:30 in the morning texting people not have time for breakfast?' I thought before saying "Sure, I know a good Italian Take-Out, wanna have a little picnic?"

"Sure, I guess, why don't you go order the food, I'm gonna go look around for a little while, meet back here about 1:00." she said, still a bit dazed from the attack as she walked away.

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><p><strong>Ten Minutes Later<strong>

I had gotten the Italian food from the restaurant about 5 blocks from where we were, and when I came back, Haruhi had a blanket, a radio, an a long box in her hands. She looked over at me and waved me over, seeming a bit better since the furious battle she had fought earlier.

"There you are Kyon, I know a nice spot in the park near here. Has a great look out of the city." she said with a smile.

"Sure sounds nice." I said as we started walking "So what's in the box?"

"Oh, nothing, you'll see later." Haruhi said as we started walking up some stairs to the small park.

The place she had picked for the picnic was really well thought out. It was under the cherry blossoms, which meant that the Cherry Petals would be falling around us while we ate. It also had a great view of the city, as Haruhi had said. It was on a higher area of a large hill in the park, which looked over the city already, but it was mostly blocked by the trees that surrounded the park. From this point, though, you could see the city over top the trees, and it was truly breathtaking.

We set down the blanket, which was just a regular red and white checkered blanket, like you always see in picnics, got out the Italian food, and started eating.

"Man, thish ish good foohd." Haruhi said with food still in her mouth. She had gotten some Asparagus, Mozzarella and Cherry Tomato Salad, which was really difficult to get for her, when I had to call her at the place to see what she wanted, and she didn't even know what to order. While I had gone on the more contemporary side and gotten a Lasagna Cuisine.

After the quick lunch, which felt more like a dinner type of meal, Haruhi then handed me the box that she had been keeping from me.

Just... a... thank you present..." she said blushing as she gave me the box "For helping me set up the Brigade for the past year."

I had completely forgotten, today was the 1 year anniversary of the club being started up. Last year she had signed us up for the club that I never thought would make it through the examination. Then came along Yuki, Miss Asahina, Koizumi, and now Sunohara. It was almost a bit touching.

"Wow, Haruhi, I don't know what to say." I said starting to un-box the gift "Thank yo..."

Then I opened the box and saw what it was. It was the last thing I had expected to show up again.

"What's wrong?" she asked, noticing my hesitation

"Oh uh, nothing." I said hoping not to make it sound so obvious that this worried me. What was in the box was a cane with dragon carvings and a red crystal ball at the tip. Just like in my dream!

"I remembered that you said that you like Fantasy and Dragons and all that, and I was split between that, and the new Skyrim add on, or whatever it was, but the game was too expensive, and I thought this would have a more, antique feeling!" Haruhi said with a big smile, not just one of those evil grin kind of smiles, a really happy, nice kind of smile, something rarer than the sun imploding.

"Thanks you, Haruhi." I said as we both looked out onto the city, the cherry blossoms, then looked at each other. "You know, I really had a fun time today." I said as we started to get closer, our faces starting to lean forward a bit.

"Yeah... me.. too..." she said as we were only a mere 5 inches away from each other, our lips close to touching. Nothing was seeming to interrupt what was happening. I felt her lip slightly brush mine and...

"Miss Suzumiya! Kyon-kun! There you two are." I heard Miss Asahina shout from across the park, Sunohara right next to her.

'Damn it!' I yelled in my head as we seperated before the two noticed anything going on. Then we packed up our things and walked over to the two of them.

When we got up to the two of them, though, Sunohara almost seemed to be glaring at me, but I payed no attention to that.

We talked for a little while as we walked back to the square, where we met up with Yuki and Koizumi. We all walked along for a while, talking and chatting, and the whole time I was holding onto the cane that had popped right out of my dreams, and into reality.

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><p><strong>Done! This took MUCH longer than I had expected, but what're ya gonna do? At first I didn't know where I was gonna have this chapter even PLACED, I only just had the idea for another investigation. Funny enough I had actually not planned to have that dream until later on in the story, and I actually had a Pewdiepie reference in what the OLD dream was. I'm gonna put it down at the end of this chapter, for those who want to read it. I had only changed it because I had the cane idea halfway through writing this story. Also expect a One-Shot from me later on today, it involves the girl from the Haruhi books, Sasaki!<strong>

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><p>The Original Dream:<p>

Right now I'm hiding in a closet in a messed up castle in god knows where. I'm running from these things called "the Gatherers" and right now these boxes in the closet with me seem to be keeping the door open! I opened the door for a peak not too long ago and it looked like he might have left. If I make a run for it, I might be able to get away from him! Then the door flung open, and there stood the gather.

"There you are Cheese Tits! Now kiss me! Muah Muah Muah Muah!" it yelled before it pounced

"GOD DAMN IT!" I yelled as I sat up in bed "Ugh, I've GOT to stop watching those Pewdiepie videos before bed."


	3. Nothin Like a Dame

**Hey guys, I'm back, right now I'm writing this chapter on a train to New York City, where I'll be for the weekend. Anyways, I've got two hours to write this chapter, the Love Is War for tomorrow and the next two One-Shots for tomorrow. To the story, I got to tell you how important this chapter is. It may seem pretty quick and not really too important, but it actually affects the entire rest of the story in a way. Well I'm too tired to keep writing this A/N so I'll just get on with the story. Here ya are.**

Spring came, and went, and the Summer Uniforms soon came out. It was a hot Summer, one full of high temperatures, little rain, and humidity, a LOT of humidity.

"What a day." I said as I walked into the clubroom at the end of the school day. It had been a day full of boring lectures, difficult tests, and Taniguchi complaining the entire time.

"Rough day?" Sunohara asked chuckling a bit as I sat down in my seat across from him.

The only ones in the clubroom at the moment were Yuki, Sunohara, and myself, meaning that Koizumi was off with the other espers, and that Haruhi was probably forcing Miss Asahina into something she didn't want to do. That girl sometimes, I swear.

"You don't know the half of it." I said leaning back a bit "Hey , Sunohara."

"Yeah, what is it?" he responded, looking up from the magazine he was reading.

"What school did you go to before you came here?" I mean it'd been a couple of months already, and we didn't even know the area that he had lived at before he came to this school.

"Well you wouldn't recognize the name of the school I went to." He said, laughing a bit he was starting to remind me too much of Koizumi with how much he was laughing. "I went to a boarding school for boys, called Izuri Prep School. It was out on an island all by itself. The school itself was on top of a large hill, while the dorm rooms were all down by the beach."

Somehow it reminded me too much of the island that we had visited on vacation, even sounded like the island too.

"How old is the building?" I asked

"Oh, only at most a year old. The old owner of the place sold it, after only having it for about a month at most. The old house was converted into a school, and the dorms were built down by the beach." He said "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, it just reminds me of something that I visited a while ago." I said. Sounded a hell of a lot like the island to me. "so it was only boys at the island? No girls?"

"Nope, none at all, we all practically jumped when the owner brought his daughter to the island one day, she was cute, taken unfortunately, but cute none the less." Sunohara said remembering what had happened. "Kinda reminds me of what happened the one time we got a new guy."

**FlashBack! (Yeah I can do em!)**

Sunohara was talking to a guy along the beach, the random people around him milling about doing whatever they could to keep themselves occupied. The beach was glistening, and the sun was shining down on them. Sunohara had been asked to show the guy around so that he wasn't completely lost on his first day.

"That's the dorm rooms, we'll get to that in a bit, and here's the beach!" he said "The most beautiful part of the entire island."

"What confuses me are, what about the girls?" the guy he was showing around, John, an American Exchange student, asked. "Ya know the women, the hot ladies, how come I haven't seen any."

"What women?" Sunohara asked sarcastically. "You see this is a boarding school for boys, and we haven't seen a woman in about…. 4 months I assume."

**(Quick A/N, for those of you who aren't used to my writings, I use singing in my stories sometimes, this is one of those times. When the people are singing, their line starts with a bolded word , followed by the rest of the line being regular print, then the final word also being bolded, to signify that they're singing. Example: La **la la la la **la.)**

"**We **got sunlight on the **sand.**" Sunohara sang looking out at the beach "**We **got moonlight on the **sea.**"

"**We **mangos and banana's you can pick right off the **tree.**" One of the guys next to them sang along

"**We **got volleyball and ping pong, and a lot of dandy **games.**" Another sang moving past

"What ain't we got?" Sunohara said

"**We **aint got **dames**!" everyone on the beach sang

"**We** get packages from home, we get movies, we get **shows.**" One sang lying on a beach towel

"**We **get manga from our** siblings**." Another sang under an umbrella

"**And** anime from back **home.**" One sang, sunbathing

Now at the docks, a mail boat had just driven up to deliver the mail for the people on the island.

"**We **get letters doused in **perfume**." One sang getting a letter that smelled of roses

"**We **get dizzy from the **smell**." The one next to him sang

"What don't we get?" Sunohara yelled

"**Ya **know damn **well**!" they sang back

"**We **got nothing to put on a clean white suit **for**." One man sang, fishing on the docks

"**What **we need is what there ain't no substitute **for**." The guy next to him sang, reeling in a fish.

"**There** is nothing like a dame! Nothin in the **world**." Everyone sang moving up the hill. "**There **is nothin you can name, that is anything like a **dame**."

"**We **feel restless we feel **blue**." One sang, riding his bike past them on his way up the hill

"**We **feel lonely, and in **brief**." Another sang running up the hill

"**We **feel every kind of feeling…." One sang before his friend cut him off

"**but **the feeling of RELIEF!" he yelled

"**We **feel hungry as the wolf felt, when he met Red Riding **Hood**." One of the men at the entrance to the school building

"What don't we feel?" everybody yelled

"We don't feel good!" Sunohara yelled back to them

"**Lots **of things in life are beautiful, but **brother**." One of the men lying against the building sang, looking at a picture of his girlfriend from back home

"**There **is one particular thing that is nothing whatsoever in any way shape or form like any **other**." The guy next to him sang fast paced.

"**There **is nothin like a dame, nothin in the **world**." They sang, going into the school building, moving past the shoe lockers and moving to the classrooms. "**There i**s nothin you can name that is anything like a **dame**."

They moved up to the second floor, where more guys started coming out of their classrooms, mostly from detention.

"**Nothin **else is built the same, nothin in the **world**." They sang together flooding the hallways

"**Like **the soft, and wavy frame…" one sang looking out from detention

"**Like **the silhouette of a **dame**." The one finished, before they were pulled back inside

"Get back in here!" the teacher yelled at them. "**There **is absolutely nothin like the frame of a **dame**!"

Back at the dorm rooms the men all sat on their bunks, some on top, some on bottom, some not even in their bunks.

"**So **supposin' they ain't **bright**." One sang, lying in bed

"**Or **completely free from **flaws**." Another sang juggling.

"**Or **as faithful as a bird **dog**." One sang combing his hair

"**Or **as kind as Santa Clause." Another guy sang in a thumb wrestling match with another guy

"**Be **thankful for, the things they've **got!**" they all sang "**There **is nothin you can name that is anything like a **dame!**"

Now around a bon fire on the beach they sang again.

"**There **are no books like a dame, and nothin looks like a **dame**." They sang circled around the fire

" **There **are no drinks like a dame, and nothin thinks like a **dame**."

"**Nothin **acts like a dame, or attracts like a **dame."**

"There aint a thing that's wrong with any man here, that can't be cured by putting him near, a girly, womanly, female, feminine, DAME!" they sang holding the last note for a couple of seconds

End Flashback

... What the hell was that? I mean I've seen some pretty weird shit, but that was just odd.

"What? It's a true story!" Sunohara said, noticing the look I gave him

"Nothing, it's just… the singing…" I said

"Oh, that, well sometime later I got accused for this accident that this idiot caused, and I got Expelled from the school." He said

"That sucks, I know some idiots who I wouldn't be surprised could do that to me." I said, thinking of Taniguchi, and Kunikida.

"Ha, ha, I bet you do." He laughed

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked narrowing my eyes.

"Oh nothing, nothing." He said as I took a sip of the soda that I had grabbed before clubs started.

For a while I had thought that Sunohara and myself were the only ones in this club that are actually normal, but now it's starting to seem that even he isn't normal. Ugh, once again, left to be the straight man.

"HEY KYON!" Haruhi yelled in my ear, scaring the SHIT outta me and making me spit out half of my soda. Somehow she had gotten through without me noticing, ugh, looks like it's gonna be another long club day.

**That's all, sorry about this one's short length, in fact this is the shortest chapter I've done since my very first chapter, but I REALLY need to get the new Love is War for tomorrow done, and also, this Laptop that I'm writing this on is by far the MOST ANNOYING THING TO TYPE ON! It freezes up when I'm typing, and I have to wait for it to load! Ughh, man, not to mention the 2 hours of sleep I got this morning, having to wake up at 5:30 to catch a train (damn my parents for being morning people… damn them.) Well that's all. Gotta get this one done, or I'll explode from the excitement of getting to write down all my ideas for Love is War….. and maybe I'll explode from the pee that I've been holding in for a half hour too….. I guess that one would make more sense.**


	4. The Boredness of Haruhi Suzumiya

**So yeah... I didn't forget about this story... I promise... It's just... it's been... ya know... nearly two years and all so... I'M SORRY! Yeah so a lot has changed in the past nearly 2 years... I've updated one story of mine and uploaded a bunch of one shots... but that's it... so I figured why not continue this story and my other story that I've neglected for over a year, Quarter Life, (If I was a parent and these stories were my children I'd be arrested for neglect T-T) as a part of my "Four Day Anniversary Celebration that I do every year to celebrate 1 a birthday of another author who I wouldn't have even started on FF.N if it wasn't for him, 2 The Creation of my account, 3 the idea of my first story, Runaway Otaku, and 4 the publishing of the first chapter of Runaway Otaku. Now I plan to (Finally after nearly 3 years) finish my main story, Love is War, on the last day, and upload a one-shot (which I did yesterday), so the other two stories (This story and Quarter Life) will be the two in-between days. So now that I've explained that, I'll explain my other issue with this story... I have no bloody clue what to write... I have my idea for one chapter that's important and the final chapter, but nothing in-between. Heck I only came up with the idea for this chapter a couple days before starting to write this... and really it's just kinda copying the original story written for the Haruhi Suzumiya Light Novel, The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya. Also the title is just a reference since this chapter is a copy. So instead of Boredom, it's Boredness... I should get an award for originality... So yeah, this idea was already done by the original author! Woot!**

"Finally! I can't believe it's time for Summer Vacation! It felt like we've gone years without a break!" I said to myself, stretching as I walked towards the club room. School was over and it was the final day before summer vacation. Now of course I despise the thought of having to go to club before finally being free to enjoy the rest of my summer vacation, but judging by what happened LAST summer, I think I'd better keep an eye on Haruhi. I like summer, sure, but believe me, if possible, I'd rather have to come to this dreary school than have to repeat a week fifteen thousand five hundred... something times. I don't even remember what Nagato told me anymore. Jeez if this was an anime or a manga or maybe even a light novel, I would have given up on that series quickly. Back on the topic of a regular summer, knowing Haruhi I can safely assume that she has something planned this summer. I don't care if it's a mess of multiple different things like last year, heck I don't care if we go to an island with a maid, a butler and another murder again, just PLEASE Haruhi, let swimming be a part of it. I can die happy if I get to see Miss Asahina in a swimsuit again. Heck I even should be thanking you for giving me the privilege to witness such a grand an beautiful thing.

"Kyon! Quit daydreaming and move!" Haruhi yelled, making me jump. I realize I'd been standing in front of the clubroom, in a complete daze, while Haruhi stood behind me with a pissed off look on her face. "If you're going to day-dream then do it at home, we have important matters to attend to, and you slacking off isn't one of them!"

I apologized before knocking on the door, and entering the clubroom. Everyone else was already in the clubroom at their usual spots, Miss Asahina serving tea, Yuki reading, and Sunohara and Koizumi sitting at the table.

"You're late today, so eager for summer vacation that you tried to escape?" Koizumi asked giving me that grin that I absolutely hate.

"Oh ha ha, I was just a little slow today." I said, glaring at him, sitting down in my usual chair.

"Ok everyone! I hope you all did well on your tests because now it's time for us to have a blast!" Haruhi yelled, standing on her chair at the "Brigade Chief's" seat at the head of the club room. "Does everyone remember the baseball tournament we entered last year?"

Of course I remember, and how could anyone else except Sunohara not remember the baseball tournament? The game we were forced to practice for and play by none other than Haruhi herself ended in us destroying the other team all thanks to a magical bat that Nagato made for us. The guilt that I felt after that game still stays with me to this day. I don't think I've ever seen a baseball coach cry like that and I really hope I never have to again.

"Well we're not entering a baseball tournament this year because I figured that it'd be easier to not have to invite people who aren't club members to come help, as much as I know they totally wanted to join!" Haruhi said making me sigh in relief. I really would rather not have to play another physical sport if possible, especially if I would have to invite Taniguchi yet again with the promise of "You get to see Mikuru Asahina play whatever sport we're playing this time."

"Now that we have six members, though, we DO have enough for a different tournament that's going on!" she continued, making me cringe. Great, another one...

"We're going to play mini-golf! I was going to the supermarket when I came across a poster for a Team Mini-Golf Tournament! It says on the poster that a team of six people is needed for the game, and that whichever team ends up with the least amount of points all-together wins!"

Well at least it won't be a physical sport again...

"Sounds most intriguing, I, myself, can't wait to play." Koizumi said adding fuel to the flame. God, do you have to agree with EVERYTHING that she says? And don't give me that stupid grin again.

"The tournament will be taking place on Saturday, so we don't have much time to practice. But luckily it's only mini-golf, so we don't need to practice, as long as we're already good!" Haruhi said

Uh, Haruhi, I think the saying "Practice Makes Perfect" applies to just about anything, including mini-golf, not that I'm complaining, at least we don't have to force a club off of their own field this time just to practice for a stupid game.

"Man this summer vacation is gonna be a blast! I wish it would never end!" Haruhi said, making everyone freeze. Even Koizumi had a serious looking face when she said that, which I had almost thought was impossible.

"Wait, don't say that!" I yelled out, not thinking.

"Well, why not Kyon?" Haruhi snapped, confused and annoyed at my outburst.

Shit I didn't even think of an explanation, guess I'm gonna have to wing it.

"Well, why would you want summer to last forever? Wouldn't it get boring?" I said sounding like an idiot

"How so?" she asked, somehow looking even more annoyed than usual.

"Uh, well imagine if we went to the beach a thousand times, or did the same stuff a few thousand times, they would get boring after a while." I said, finally sounding like I knew what I was talking about

"Well... I guess I can see your point there..." Haruhi agreed, turning around. "I guess it would get boring after a while. So I guess I wish it would just last a little longer than usual, not really forever."

Whew, that could have been a disaster. Both Miss Asahina and Koizumi looked at me with faces full of gratitude. Nagato looked... well like Nagato, but I think she nodded her head about a cemtimeter as a way of thanking me. Sunohara looked completely confused, and really I didn't blame him, he didn't have to deal with what we dealt with last summer. At least we won't have to repeat the same almost 3 weeks over and over again.

**Saturday**

"I swear she does this on purpose…." I said to myself, waiting in line to grab burgers for everyone in the gang. Despite having shown up before both Mikuru and Sunohara again, the persistent Haruhi demanded that I pay for everyone's meal… again…. I think that woman plans on making sure I'm broke before I graduate. Right now, over at the table everyone was sitting at, the same woman who has caused me even more anger is currently going over "Plans" for the mini-golf tournament and what we would be doing for the rest of summer vacation. Now that I think about it, how do you even plan for a mini-golf tournament, it's not like baseball where batting order mattered, it doesn't matter what order we all go in, the result will still be the same.

I guess I should describe the basics of what this tournament is about, though, honestly, I'm not so sure myself. Each team would get to play on one hole, and would go through each of their members until everyone had gotten their ball in the hole. Then as the hole in front of the team was available, they could move up. In the end, whichever team has the least number of putts wins. I'm surprised they could pull off a tournament like this. I guess the only reason the place agreed to put it on was because every person playing had to pay 500 yen to enter. If it wasn't for the five thousand yen prize at the end I doubt anyone would enter this stupid thing.

I take my order from the cute waitress in an outfit that just fit her body, and while I was waiting for our extremely large order I can't honestly say I wasn't checking her out a little. You know, I'm a healthy young man, I like girls, and that pony-tail she had on just fit her. Though I felt eyes burning holes in the back of my head, and when I turned around, I saw Haruhi giving me a death glare. Either for taking so long, or for checking the waitress out…. Hopefully the first one because I don't want to have to deal with a scolding on checking out girls when we're on duty and whatever else she could think of as a reason to yell at me.

I finally got our order, walked over to our table, and gave everyone their respective food. I decided not to eat anything because one, my mother had basically force fed me this morning, despite me saying I was gonna eat later on anyways, and two because it would be less money for me to spend. Surprisingly, though, Haruhi said something.

"Aren't you going to eat Kyon?" she asked

"I ate a big meal already this morning, so I'm good." I said acting cool about it.

"Oh come on, I can't have one of my members not eating, here, have half my fries." Haruhi said, surprising me as she forced her food on me.

"Oh… well, thanks, I guess…" I said, not really knowing how to respond. Haruhi acting like this is rare, she even had a bit of a blush, which actually made her look a bit cute… but only a bit…. When I looked over, though, I noticed Sunohara looking at me very enviously, which confused me, but I really didn't know why, so I just let it go.

A bit later, after we finished our lunch, we made our way to the mini-golf course, and it was a bit more crowded than I had expected it to be. There was five other groups entering, making us the sixth, so we had to beat 30 other people at mini-golf… and I could assume they were entering the tournament to be competitive, not like Haruhi who was just entering because she could. I just hope we don't make people cry this time…

**First Hole:**

The first hole was pretty basic, it was just a straight shot with a hill in the middle. Haruhi, of course, went first, and got it in with two shots. Not a bad start I guess. Next came Nagato, who seemed to be observing the entire green before lining up and getting a perfect hole in one… I really shouldn't be surprised anymore with her. After her came Koizumi, who got it in after three shots. Next came our problem…. Mikuru… she tried so hard… The first time she hit the ball, it started to roll up the hill, only to fall back down, much to her dismay and Haruhi's anger. She tried again, only for the same thing to happen, and it wasn't until she tried a third time that she made it over the hill. Then after three more attempts, she got it in. Six putts… that basically wiped out all the good everyone else did before her.

Next I was up, and I think that either someone up there was giving me his blessings, or I just had an enormous amount of luck, because I got a hole in one, and it DEFINITELY wasn't my near failing Physics grade that was helping me out. Finally Sunohara went, and got it in in three shots. That gave up 16 putts at the end of hole one… I really hope we don't have to absolutely win this game or else the world will end like the baseball tournament, because we're already off on a horrible start…

**Hole 6:**

We were much worse off than I would have ever expected, Yuki continued to get hole in one's and Haruhi would get it in 2 or 3 every time, but the rest of us were iffy, especially Mikuru, who was only getting worse as the green's got harder. We were at 93 putts already, and the rest of the groups were mostly at 80's or some even in the 70's. The worst part was that we were only about one third of the way through the tournament. I looked over to Haruhi telling Miss Asahina her "Secret to playing mini-golf", then looked to Nagato, who was observing the green we were waiting to get on. Then I looked to Sunohara who seemed to be praying for something, probably for a better game, since he's been falling behind in the past few games. Then I went up to Koizumi and asked the question which I knew was lingering.

"So…. Any closed spaces at the anger of losing yet?" I asked

"Thank heavens, not any yet, I haven't been contacted by the agency of any as of right now, but maybe Haruhi believes we'll all make another turn around like last year." Koizumi responded

"Well, I just hope this game goes fast, I don't want to waste the time of the other people in this tournament any more than I have to." I said as Sunohara went up to putt, and I wished him luck, knowing the green gave me loads of trouble, especially with a grouping of rocks that was put right in the middle of the path.

"Oh, I think it's fun though!" Koizumi said, smiling "I quite enjoy a good game of golf."

I was about to snap back at him when Sunohara hit the golf ball. I saw it roll forwards and bounce off a corner only to roll right around the rocks and into the hole, giving him his first hole in one, and one of the strangest shot's I had ever seen… the ball seemed to have changed course mid roll, but I figured it must have been a hill that caused it, so we just went back to our conversation.

**Hole 11:**

I'm surprised I didn't react before, but something was seriously going on again. Sunohara was getting a hole in one every hole since the 6th hole, and even Miss Asahina was starting to only get 2's or 3's. In only four holes, we had gone from dead last, to tied for second place. I had figured that Nagato had placed another spell on Sunohara and Mikuru's golf clubs since they were starting to fall behind, so I decided to experiment.

"Hey, Sunohara, can I test out your club?" I asked "Mine feels like it's too short."

"Sure!" he said, handing it over "I'm gonna need it back for when I putt though"

"No Problem." I responded. Ok now there has to be something to this club. I went up to putt and… it missed horribly… weird… I then took aim and got it closer, but the golf-ball still didn't go in. If Nagato didn't do something to it, then why is he having such good luck?

After I finished, I handed the club back to Sunohara, saying it was just a bit too long, before going right over to Nagato, who was, once again, surveying the next green.

"Hey, Nagato, do you have anything to do with Miss Asahina and Sunohara suddenly becoming good?" I asked the alien, who continued to stare straight ahead, while talking to me.

"The sudden increase in physical and mental ability towards the game was all by the will of Sunohara Kibuki." Nagato said in her usual monotone voice "He also had been the cause of Mikuru Asahina's sudden increase, as he willed for her to become better so that Haruhi Suzumiya would become less angered by the game. None of it was caused by my interference."

"Oh, well, thanks for the info Nagato." I said, surprised, as I walked away. So Sunohara was the one who was causing this whole thing. I had almost forgotten that he had the same abilities as Haruhi, only on a lesser scale. Well, maybe we can win this tournament WITHOUT really cheating this time… well… as long as you don't count a guy who wished for his skill to improve and an alien who could automatically figure out how to get a hole in one as cheating.

**Hole 18:**

This was getting ridiculous, and it was only getting worse. Suddenly Haruhi and I were having amazing luck and had been getting hole in one's for the past 4 or 5 holes as well. Now we were at only 195 putts and were now in first place with the guy's in second at 200. Heck the only reason we haven't been absolutely destroying everyone else was because Mikuru started to have a bad streak again. After hole 17, we had to wait for the other groups to catch up so we could all watch hole 18. We had to wait for 2 groups to finish up so I just looked at the hole and oh God it looked tough. In the center of the green was a giant loop that went up in the air and back down facing right into the hole. There was a way around it, but it would easily add 3 more putts, so it was either attempt the loop or loose. Finally at the end we all tallied up what we had and yelled it out. Apparently Group 1 had 209 putts, Group 2 was in second at 200 putts, Group 3 had 213 putts, Group 4, which was us, had 195, Group 5 had 203, and Group 6 had 210. This time we switched up the order by whoever had the most putts went first and whoever had the least would go last. Haruhi also took advantage of this and decided to switch up our order. Now it went Nagato, Sunohara, Koizumi, Miss Asahina, Haruhi herself, and then me, as the last putt of the game…. Fun… I always love to have everyone's attention right on me.

None of the other groups did much, some of them doing pretty well, but none of them got close to Group 2 and our group. Group 2 then went on to get a hole in one for all six of their players, which left everyone in shock. I wasn't really worried though, since everyone was doing fine, we should be fine, or so I thought. Nagato, of course, got a hole in one, but Sunohara must have gotten so nervous that his powers wore off, because he putted a 2, much to Haruhi's anger. Koizumi got another hole in one for us, but then Miss Asahina took the safe way around the loop, adding 3 on.

Haruhi was beyond annoyed, and it showed when she went up to putt because she hit the ball and it went around the loop, only to miss the hole and making her have to hit it again, giving her a two. I counted up how many putts we had and I realized the rest of the game was up to me getting a hole in one or not. If I got a 2 we'd tie and have to re-putt, but I doubt we'd get as lucky as we did, and of course if I got a 3 or more we would lose. I looked over to Koizumi who could tell what I was thinking and shook his head in a way that I could tell meant "If you lose, another might pop up." I sighed and took aim.

The whole rest of my luck in this game was probably the work of Sunohara, but it's pretty obvious that wore off, so I had to make the game winning putt. I looked over to everyone, mostly looking exactly as I would expect, only, Haruhi had a look of genuine concern, more than anticipation. That kind of confused me, but I wasn't going to dwell on it. I had to get a hole in one or else…

I lined up the shot, took aim, and hit the ball towards the loop, praying it would make it.

**After the Tournament:**

"Let's give three cheers to the member who just earned his stripes!" Haruhi exclaimed "Cmon everyone! Let's cheer: Hip, Hip, Kyon!"

"Hip, Hip, Kyon!" everyone exclaimed, except me, of course. All I could think was how stupid "Hip, Hip, Kyon" sounded.

We went to another diner for dinner after the tournament, and after my lucky shot that managed to win the game. In the end, the ball just missed the hole, and teetered on the edge of the hole, only just managing to make it in, which I would not be surprised if that was the work of Nagato, but I like to think that it was all just my own talent. Heck it went so well that Haruhi actually agreed to pay for our food this time, something I thought was impossible.

It wasn't very long before everyone had left, and Sunohara had gone back to the bathroom, and Haruhi and I were left alone in the diner. Koizumi left with a word of thanks for helping to stop another potential Closed Space, and Nagato gave me another one of those centimeter-nods that she gives me occasionally. Now Haruhi and I were left at our table, Haruhi getting some money out to pay for the bill.

"Thanks for covering the bill Haruhi." I said, still expecting her to randomly push the bill on me.

"Well, you DID earn a free meal after you won today. You even got us 5,000 yen for our club's funds!" she said, excited. I really have to wonder what that club fund would even go to, but oh well, maybe it can cover meals for us for a while. That way I don't have to cover it.

"Don't give me all the thanks, Sunohara and Nagato kept getting a bunch of hole in one's, I just managed to get the final shot." I said starting to stand up to leave, Haruhi doing the same.

"Yeah, I already thanked them, but you won the tournament for us, so I have to show you some thanks." Haruhi said, as we walked towards the entrance doors.

"Well, thanks Haruhi, I had thought that you would always make me pay for our food. I had kinda gi…" I started to say before Haruhi leaned in and kissed me on the cheek.

She stayed there for a few moments before pulling back and saying "Thanks Kyon." before running out the door. It wasn't until she turned around and left that I noticed her hair was in a ponytail, I don't remember her hair being tied up. The other thing I didn't notice, was Sunohara just coming out of the bathroom, as he watched the kiss happen.

**Good god that took me a long time to type up. I'm on vacation now as I finish this, but for some reason typing on this laptop takes me longer than typing on my computer at home, even if I have more time to type here on vacation, with traveling and less distractions and such. Anyways, thanks to those who have been with this story since the beginning, even if I haven't updated in over 2 years! Ironically this is the second cheek kiss I've written in my stories in the past month….. maybe I'm obsessed with cheek kisses... oh well, who knows. Next chapter will be the continuation of summer, and while it'll probably be less interesting, it'll be pretty important for a different reason you will be finding out about later. Thanks for reading!**


End file.
